Relationships & Friendships

Providing support can often impact on relationships and friendships in different ways (see section – how might providing support impact on me).

Family and friends often told us that they had found it hard to maintain boundaries and healthy relationships when providing support. This was often with the individual they were supporting, but also had impacted on relationships wider afield (including other friends, family members etc).

It is really important to try and maintain healthy relationships, as often this will allow for you to provide more effective support due to caring for yourself and the individual. Some ways in which you can do this are:

1. Maintain boundaries – this can be challenging if you are worried about an individual, and of course it is important to be there for them. However, often if we don’t establish boundaries (i.e. reasonable and safe ways for others to behave towards you), providing support can also start to impact upon our own well-being, and ultimately, this makes the support we are able to provide less effective! Try to have specific check in times so that you both know that time is protected.
2. Organise a regular activity with the individual that takes you away from the stressors/triggers – arrange a cinema date or a walk
3. Share your feelings and concerns – if you are worried or struggling to manage with providing support, it’s important to seek support for yourself. You may need to voice these feelings with the individual, or you may feel that speaking to a professional or another friend/family member is helpful. It’s important not to bottle up. You don’t have to share any personal information about the individual if this is something you are worried about.
4. Follow the self-care tips – and try to encourage your friend/family members too as well!